Wonderfull, you're back.
The offer is upgraded this time
Now you're actually trying
To have a real conversation
Before you try to get in to my pants
It's not going to happen
You were so bad
I wanted to regrow a *****
And convert in to a nun.
Let's not revisit that.

Later on...
I sat out with my sister
Watched him check out the goods
You're cute, come here
But then your friend
Started looking
No. No. No.
I wasn't looking at - aaargh.
Oh boo!
Why do the Gods hate me?

Can't date you
You're too old
And my body goes tick tock
Can't date you either
Because regardless
Of your fleeting interest in me
My best friend
Is in love with you.

And you.
I wouldn't date you
*** you're a ****.