I started smoking regularly.
I started sleeping until 2 or 3pm.
I started not being able to fall asleep until 5/6am.
I ****** a complete stranger.
He left me more empty
Than anything.
I thought of you.
That it was you.

****** up, huh?
I helped Austin cheat.
We sent nudes back and forth.
I don't know why.
His girlfriend still doesn't know
The full extent of it.

****** up, huh?
I wish I was with you still.
I don't know why.
I wish I was over you.
I wish I could wake up
And have a whole day where
Someone could say "khayllia"
And I wouldn't cringe
And my heart wouldn't hurt.
But that day hasn't come yet.
I'm so lost.
Not because you left me.
But because you left me alone.

You don't talk to me. And I wish you would.
When you left I didn't just lose a girlfriend. I lost a friend. I don't know what to do or what to say or how to say it.
There's no easy way out of this.