What are you doing? What am I doing?
My mind on repeat, sometimes giddy with joy or full of disappointment.
"I'm sleeping with a southern",
or "I'm going out just for one drink", I respond.
No excuses besides, "I just turned 21! Its fun!"
I often lie awake thinking of someone else
... He's far off in Montana.
He's forgotten about me.
My life style right now is not what I'm used too,
but everything I expected.
Slowly, I take hold of the realization that,
I don't miss my last love, because I've missed being me.
I'm gripping toward an old self I lost with him.
and quickly I find, my youth, my full spirit,
and mostly my inner wild.
Adventure is out there, go! Seize it!
My heart pounds loudly, so loudly
I can't tell if I've skipped some beats or not.
My content-ness and comfortability is long gone,
but my wonder is in full restore.