Only words can explain how I feel inside.

I'm like a type writer. I can't speak how I feel but I can write how I feel on paper.
The emotions that flow and the things I seem to go through.
I go through moments of despair and other moments I'm on top of the world.
I have a decision to make. And that terrifies me.
Why must adulthood even be a thing.
It's sad to think that when I was younger I fluttered at the Idea of being older and being able to do whatever I wanted without adults telling me what to do or what I should be.
But, as I seem to grow older It terrifies me to think of it. I don't like the idea of growing up and that just seems to childish. Oh the irony.
The older I get the more terrified I become. I don't know what I'm going to do with most of my life. This has gone to fast.
The worst part is I want someone to tell me what to do. I 'm so use to others giving me advice and helping me that now, I'm stuck.