i feel sick to my stomach
the things that you said
constantly whirring inside of my head
fragmented memories of that hazy, regretful night
i overflow,
punctured by pervading panic
my sense of reality twisting
when we were at one
beautiful, lost and manic
an involuntary act
dragged headfirst by desire's impulse
you know i didn't plan it
struggling i,
try to cut ties
internally censor
shut down my overthinking mind
i freeze,
block out the words i'm holding back with all my might
afraid to ruin the bond between us
the last thing i want is to fight
a cascade of raw emotion
reduced to this sick sad feeling
inside i feel lonely, worn down, bleeding
my fragile heart fractured into glass, revealing
the futile hope at the blackened core
i'm always naked, bare, grasping for something more