Not sure whats been goin' on with my soul
Dreams surrounding your face, the lack of your presence
I wake up in reality, so early
The sun eggs me on to get started
Motivation slightly slipping off the edge
Clawing the side of the earth
Nailing my fingertips into the dirt
A troop of people spot me from behind
And in front
And for the first time
I allow them to help lift me up.

Saw pictures from the funeral
You wore your favorite suit
A man came into my coffee shop yesterday
And I thought
This is what he will look and be like someday
Perhaps.

I don't really know what it is that I need
Inking and reading into every little thing
My sensitivity extra high
If I could fly a kite
I'd tie myself to it
And sail away.

Tonights the big night
Corsets and improvised movements
We plan to intoxicate ourselves with happiness
Its gonna do me some serious good.

Theres so much build up
So much hype
Around it all
And sometimes I just wanna curl into a ball
Let the circus proceed without me.

But I can't yet leave.

I don't know that there is any leaving for me anymore
I've always gotten away with it
The last **** on my dresser came off into my hand today
And I thought
My whole room breaks and crumbles around me
Year 1 whispering:
Sweet little Layne, its time to upgrade.

Time for a run
I won't forget
But I'll release every threatening word behind
The voiced insecurities of others
I allow them to spiral down into the earth
Like dust thats where they lay
And with uplifting fists

I leap over the edge
Of my own wall.