The illumination to  my epiphany shines brightly into my face.
I log into the world, plugged up
I never know where it will take me
but I explore the deepest rivets of what it has to offer
I stopped reaching for anything and searched for something
The answer falls into my stare
I realize
the solution to my questioning, and encounter a lesson,
Vulnerability looms there in front of my face
to bow down to it
the thing that I've been running from.  
I ask God make me powerful enough to make the uncertain certain
while keeping my feelings at bay as I try my hardest not to be vulnerable
but In my attempt to destroy it I fuel it; vulnerability  
to feel that I can control and predict my future, and act like I do not
so when I die of old age
I never get to live  to be myself intentionally, so that I never truly see myself suffering from my uncertainty that certainly I played the part to make it appear as though this was my choice and in turn never having to fess up to my true lack of courage.