i woke up today thinking about almonds

on the bus to school i heard the crunching of their shell
breaking between the teeth of a chubby little girl
and i grasped at the corners of my binder
until my palms were dripping blood

my mouth watered to the thought of muffins in algebra

the teacher called on me and the kids laughed
when i didn't respond
but i'm sure they've never heard
such a shrill silence

i cried about pasta while my family ate dinner

my mom's eyes never looked so dull
as she asked me if it was her cooking i didn't like
and i cringed as she touched my shoulder
and told me i felt cold

i went to bed thinking about my weight

i peeled back the fat of my stomach
to see if there was any part of myself left
inside this hollow shell
i called a body

i blacked out tonight

i could hear my skull smash
against the white tiles of my bathroom floor
but you can't feel anything
when you're weightless