Here I lay,
on a dampen floor
my body soaked in my tears
wishing the earth opens up and wraps me in it's arms,
just for a little while.

I moan over the lost nights,
the lost days,
the wasted time, that the heavens,
no matter how much I pray,
won't give them back.
I moan over the lost for you.

I gave so much, on purpose,
chose to stand by you, on purpose,
opted the happy that came from throwing myself to you,
willingly,
selfishly,
foolishly,
on purpose.

My hair is wet from this salty liquid,
my heart is still under your shoe,
my body wishes it could jump out,
fast,
from this layer of skin,
and the pitiful brain that said yes to you.

As I loved you,
you loved yourself,
as I waited on you,
you sought to please your ego for a mistress,
saying sorry for it,
going against your way to apologize,
saying sorry for a chance to do it all over again.

Nothing was missing.
When you found me,
nothing was missing inside of me,
I was whole.
Naive, but whole,
unaware what self love was,
but whole.
Yet I though nothing was missing,
I thought then, you could be a piece to complete me.

And burning with regrets,
I gulp it all down,
because you taught me pride.
I bury my head in pride not to regret,
for the chances and moments,
you opened the door for me
and I chose not to leave.

I weep not for our love,
but for my love.
Hating myself because I didn't love me enough then.
Not even at all,
to care about the person who was really fading away,
with the wind, with every Sun that rose,
and every Moon that sent her to sleep.
Not even at all,
to care about me.

And here I lay,
on a dampen floor,
when I am done crying I'll be back for all that you stole,
claim the parts of me you so forcefully took away,
and I will win,
because you held a marker and drew for me pain,
you held a marker and drew for me survival.


Now I hope,
the next one you meet
won't end up in the trash can,
where you put me.
You made me mature,
I hope someday you grow up too.