yes, it was January of 98 on some fateful day when she had her stroke, I can still remember the paramedics rolling her away on the gurney.
the ambulance
the flashing lights
the sirens,
the despair breeze that blew with the wind.
I was 7
she was paralyzed and could no longer speak,
the cigarettes
fried food
bad health
old age had finally caught up with her.
the next 15 years her life would be of silence, no hope.
15 years no walking
15 years no speaking
no adventuring
no writing
no cooking
no story telling
no playing
no fun,
15 years observing
15 years thinking
15 years laying
15 years sitting
15 years waiting
15 years without her
wondering,
why.
January of 2013 the time came, it was at the Pacific Haven Nursing Home on Trask just passing Harbor right across the street from the 22 freeway. That would be the last night I spent with her as she took her last breaths, as I sat and sipped the snuck in beer, I wept. I held her hand and talked to her for a while, apologized for not being there as much as I should have. I expressed my love and appreciation for all she did while she was in my life, promising her we would meet again.
wishing I could hear something back, silence.
kissed her on the cheek
took my last glance
closed the curtains
and left just as she did,
I was 22
sure do miss you. -Shane Book