It was like a dream,
only it wasn't.
It was a reality,
all wrapped up in fantasy.
It was a fantastic exploration,
of what if.
It was a fearsome adventure,
only it didn't last.

There was a terrible storm,
then silence.
there were people everywhere,
yet no one felt close to me.
there was a strange frustration, and anger inside me,
yet on the outside I felt as calm as could be.
there were thick strings attached, holding me,
yet I felt too free.

When there should have been happiness,
I was sad.
When joy and fulfillment came,
I was empty and longing.
When God answered my prays,
I wondered why the others were left unanswered.
When I closed my eyes to sleep,
I wondered if the tears would ever stop.
When I breathed,
I wondered if each pull and push of air was worth suffering life.

Then I tried faith,
But it wouldn't stick
Then it was hardwork, and reclusiveness,
it was empty and heartbreaking.
Then I tried reason and logic,
and it broke my spirit.
Then I tried to love myself, but it hurt,
because love always hurts.

I woke up from my dream that wasn't a dream,
from the reality wrapped up in fantasy.
I was slapped with the world,
because it tried to fit in me,
as did all the people
i love.
When i woke i realized,
I couldn't take them, the world, and me.
There was only room for two.
One had to be me.
The other.....
was a tough choice.

I chose the world,
It hurt...