5 hours we laid on my bed, sideways
It was set up different
I had to change it after you left
The second or third time
You took all the wine
You left me half a bottle
A ***** bed
My note crumpled on the floor
Thanked me for the pleasure and a place to rest
So I disappeared like we knew I would.

I see you in my minds eye so clearly now
Tricked, deceit
All the voices swarming and warning me
I wanted so badly to think I was the exception
I almost always am
Until it falls out of my hands.

I've always been heartbroken over
somebody
But never thought, never anticipated
After all that talk, all that exposure
You would grow to be one of the worst
Betrayal in a handbag
Covered in spikey hair, whimsical behavior
And the deepest fear
Of not really knowing who you are.

I tried.
My God, I ******* tried.
Fickle fingers covered in golden blood
Swans oozing pus and butterfly encrusted better days
I tried to play
I tried to play
I'm sorry it ended this way.

I guess?
I guess I'm sorry
But as soon as remorse starts to slip and spill
Waves of your face, the way you left it
The way you said it, texted it
I spent my time falling to my knees
You swore
You swore
You swore
You swore
You swore
You swore

It was all deceit
Because I was a beautiful bird you wanted to capture
In your decaying net.

But no regrets.
But I do feel it quite a bit
Your new girlfriend
I wonder what she gives you that I didn't
And if my face wanders into your mind
My body, my sighs
All the times I made you feel so loved
But a witch in black tomorrow
Casts a mystery and truthful wish
And urges me

To watch you drown into the sea
Without me.