I don't remember much
my youth
the lake
fresh blood
his eyes

The pain
the scream that left me
and all the screams that stayed inside
his firm grip handcoffing my wrists
bruises

The fear
of not being in control
helplessness at a time I should
protect myself
guilt


The silence
twenty years of silence
of not dealing with a memory
ignoring facts until they dissapeared
living my life as an aftershock
waiting for those last moments between disaster and death

I don't know what happened
I refuse to remember, even now
but that was the day
the sun went out