What trembles besides my knees?
Do my feet hang off the bed on the right side
or
Does my face just continue to dry until
It flakes skin
Until I am nothing but dust


It's just hysterical
that this which is tearing and sowing
breaks me so so gently it bores me to death
in the first five minutes
and I wait and wait and wait
for those imprints to turn yellow and then to blue
and eventually disappear under the guise of smoke and quiet resentment
or another's palm grasping at my ankles
spilt mother's milk
cracks in the floorboards
cherry lozenge cracking under tongue


Knuckles stiffen and clumps of hair stick to the shower walls
My thighs fill with cracks angry and red running up but suddenly stopping at my most precious commodity
the price to my body's worth
it tears tags off of old mattresses
and sits in bath water too hot
runs and breathes life into a humid motel room

I receive my checks in the mail
signed with red ink and no return address