0
Here I am scribbling more notes
That I will never ever ever ever let you see
But yet here I am showing you guys
I am terrified of what's to come, okay?
I am not happy with myself
I want to get my license so that I can drive off the bridge that I crossed every Sunday on the way to church
I  am cursed but with a blessing
I miss the fact that you are happy with life
I miss the parties at your dads house
I miss the people that I cared so much about
I miss feeling like I was worth just a morsel of your time
90
They say This is the best time of your life
So tell me why I feel at my worst
18 has got to be my year
If it's not I swear I'll do nothing with anything
I am the war field that our grandparents killed each other on
I am cold down to my shaky bones
But I still have the heat of the cigarette I lit
I have the warmth of a beating heart no matter how many times that it will break
There is a purpose to being broken
To some you'll seem worthless
But to the golden ones you are a point
I am not the person that is the star basketball player
I am not the smartest person ever
180
I am the person that will hold you deep into the night
I am the person that will buy you flowers and brush dirt over your grave
Don't worry that I will miss you when you are gone
I am not a teenager that isn't racing for the fences
I am climbing bridges and scaring my friends
The only moment that really matters is the day of your death
You will truly know who shows you what you mean
If you don't understand what I just said
Think about it
Lay in your bed at night and think
270
When it comes to you text all of your friends
Tell them that you love them
That they are the only thing that matters
Without them you wouldn't be here
Without there support you cannot push through one more day
You will live on
You are a flower that is growing more and more everyday
The sun is shining bright and the wind is blowing
Take a deep breath and hit the ground
360
The light is not your home