Hey there,
It's me again.
I know I've come to you before and you never say anything back to me, but I have no other choice; so please just listen to me carefully.
I know it's been a few years and you haven't heard from me, but I just got caught up in what life is suppose to be about. I'm sorry. But I'm here now, and I have so much to tell you.
First of all, *******. I hate doing this and I hate coming back to you because I know for a fact that there are others that have no other choice but to see you, and here I am, willfully coming to you. Congratulations for this.
I used to feel like my loved ones were going to have to drag the lake for me because of you, and I'm so stupid to be coming back to you after everything you've done to me.
I know I've told you that I don't believe in God, but recently I've had no other choice but to pray to him and ask him sincerely to please never let you show your face to me again.
I'm going to a funeral tomorrow evening, and even though I never met the guy, it fills me with nothing but rage to know that you stole everything from him.
I was told that he had everything going for him. Perfect grades, a perfect athlete, not a thing in the world seemed to be able to stop him. He was so young and full of potential. Until you came along.
You forced his body to starve so badly that it had no choice but to eat itself.
That sounds familiar, doesn't it?
That no matter how many times I'm able to run away from you, you never fail to fill my stomach with what seems like a black abyss that never stops screaming at me for everything I do.

Second of all, I hope you're happy with all of this.
I hope you see me struggle and turn in my sleep because of you and you get a kick out of it.
I hope that you feel a sense of accomplishment when you see me smiling and decide I'd be better off back in the dumps. You somehow always think that I've always wanted this.
There have been times when I've wanted nothing more, but now is not that time.
I've grown so much without you and I hope you've noticed.
Life has given me such a sense of self worth. Something that you could never do for me.
In fact, all you ever gave me was the complete opposite.
It's been a struggle, but I don't need you. I never did, so please stay the **** away from me.

Last but not least, this is the last time you will ever hear from me.
Death, I am staring you right in the face and I feel more confident now than I ever have.
Death, no matter how many times you try to push down on my chest, I will take the deepest breath you've ever seen me take.
Death, say goodbye to your longest prisoner, I hope you become lonely without me.

Death, not today.
Death, not ever.

Yours truly, the one that got away.

PS, I'm gonna need this letter back to write more things on to help my head get rid of you.