you can't get mad at me
because I remember when you begged
and you cried on the phone
and told me you read all of my poems
and that you were sorry
and you would make everything better

because you knew how I loved you so

but it was already so far gone
it was much too late

I had already cut out a piece of my heart
and soul
that I will never get back

so you can't get mad at me
for struggling to give you space
because you and me was all I ever knew

and I made it all the ******* way back
this time last year I wanted to **** myself
**** MYSELF FOR JESUS ******* CHRIST
AND IM STILL HERE
WITH NO HELP FROM YOU

I made it I made it

I made it

tears of joy fall down my face now
because I didn't do it!!
I didn't do it
God knew I was far too important to take my own life
and that I deserved to find myself again

I can't promise you most things
but I will promise you this

I won't fall in love again like I did
and I'm not trying to be sentimental
or nastalgic

love tears you to pieces
while you think it's stitching you together
until you realize
the stitches were made of glass
and the hands you left your heart in were made of thorns

so I stole it back
and I'm stitching up myself now

I'm using my pain as my indestructible thread
to piece myself back together

so you can't be mad at me for trying to deal with things the best I can

because I MADE IT BACK
I DID
you may have felt your own pain but you can never be in my head
and I wouldn't wish that upon you

so don't accuse me of trying to destroy you
when the only thing I've come close to destroying is myself

this isn't about you
this has always been about me