I went back a bit
Lifted the broken decaying logs of the past
To try and better understand
And like a heat wave
Trinkets and dismantled barbie doll arms
Whispering under the bulk of it all
"Girl, get out. Girl get out."
Woman, you are too brave.

My eyes blinked open this morning
As a ravenous wolf made my body his
I gave over to it as fully as I could
My heart wrapped in metal
But my mind, my lips, my limbs
Sighing and free.

And I realize for the first time
I did not have to remind myself of the name.

You reached out as hard as you could
You wanted to notify me of your disgust
Venturing into my room
Claiming your hurt
Get the **** over it.

And it might could be different
But its not
High wasted little white *******
I've got an hour glass figure
The Wolf points out to me in a polaroid on my windowsill
And I poke and **** him because it makes him matter less
The hurt and desire to not be a **** boy
I hit a sore spot
But we held each other before he left
I glowed and floated today
Because sensual physical love
Is so necessary for me.

But I don't seek it out with binoculars
Palettes of paint and digital cinema
Fulfill my desires
But sometimes I wish I had that special solid someone
But it feels too good to do whatever I want.

I went back over where I was this time last year
Through poetry
I wanted so much
Almost a full year
And though it wounds me sometimes
I haven't marked days on my door
Since I X'd it all out with anguish and freedom

Because theres just no need
Sorry you and your brothers gotta fuss
But really

I'm not sorry at all
You wanted to see my bikinied body
This summer, summer time sadness

I'm just sorry
I thought you were
You were
And you weren't.