You're going to realize that I'm not worth staying for
You're going to realize it even if you don't have to go like you say you might
You told me you might disappear and never come back and all I could do was cry because I finally gained some hope that you might not leave this time
You might not come into my life again just to leave it a wreck like the last
Like a ******* tornado, ripping all my heartlessness and disinterest out of the roots of who I am and seeing some of the things I keep down so deep inside just to vanish
Abandonment should feel normal by now but I never felt like my entire structure was collapsing when someone left until it was you
I realized that hope is the worst thing a person could have
It will destroy everything you thought you had
I'm going to blink and the only thing I loved is going to be gone
You're going to leave me
And I'm going to act like it's okay until I can't breathe and I haven't left my bed for weeks and I quit smoking because it's too much to move from my mattress to the window
Because I can't find a lighter and I lose everything I touch
I shouldn't have ever touched you
I shouldn't have ever met you, you're going to destroy me
You're going to leave me in ruins but none of it ******* matters when I've got your skin on mine and your lips on mine and your eyes on me I could care less about the things that you're going to do to me
I've never meant what I've written so ******* much in this moment
Abandon all hope
It's a sinking ship
If you want to die, hold on but I'm ready to jump
I wish that things could be different
In a different life I think we could be together for a very long time
But this world isn't that one
And no matter how much I wish it was and how much I want to wake up to you every morning it just isn't going to happen