When I lay with my boyfriend,
Our bodies often drift apart,
As do our minds.

I will often vent to him, I often cry and get upset.

I am blessed that he has never felt pain the way that I do.
I am grateful that he does not understand my anxiety.
I love him because he doesn't have a detrimental past following him.

But sometimes.. I get tired, of hurting alone.

He wont understand why I lose my breath in public.
He doesn't feel my emptiness in the night.
He will never truly see the fear behind my eyes.

Misery  is not a competition, I do not get an award if I win,

There's nothing to love about being me. There's nothing
Sweet about  my brokenness

But there is a barrier between us, there is a communication error,
A wrong turn, an empty apology.

However.. His confidence, his steadiness, his love, will make
Me stable.

I tell him everything I feel trying to help him understand but he
Doesn't have to say a word me to understand the way he feels,

I hear his love in the silence,
I feel his heart wrapped around me on the way home,
I see his love dance around the room even with the light off.

So when our bodies drift apart..
I will push myself back against him.

He's the only thing believing in me with all of his heart.