You died 4 years ago and I never forgot the feeling
the feeling hoplesness I felt when they told my that the cancer inched its way to every pure crevice
until you were as weak as my knees were to become.
I remember falling
not literally but figuratively
falling into a hole where the light of god was absent
and all I had left was my inner light
The day you died was the day I stopped believing
You and I prayed every night and even though I don’t believe in God I still pray
I still speak- The bare definition of a prayer is
a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to a being or audience that cannot respond
So here I am
In front of you
Screaming
Begging for another conversation with you
Grandma I’m sorry I lost faith
and I don’t intend on ever regaining faith
but I always pray to you.
before every performance.
I beg that you listen
and that everyone else listens
I don’t believe that my words go unheard
or I wouldn’t be standing in front of these people today
Grandma I love you, I love you, I love you
And I will never break this life-long conversation with you.
Grandma this poem- this prayer- is for you.