It's the hardest thing to admit. To face facts and contemplate on turning off the switch. Every time I come close, something inside me says stop. Which just leads to inevitable loss. Because getting a taste of friendship without expectations, actually leads to me expecting we'd have that forever. But these feelings don't come easily. It took so much of me. And I fumbled, and I faught, Which caused you to flee. I hoped for more. I hoped that you'd be the ocean to my shore. Always being the rush of current, guiding me to steady ground. And I know I know I have that for myself. Epitomes and ****. I wish it wasn't so easy for you to quit. I'm capable of being my own sound. I'll always wear my jagged crown. Maybe I saw someone who wasn't afraid to get splinters while tearing through the thorns around my throne. Feeling is just not a good feeling to me. Because I was destroyed by the same fluttering. And that was bad, but this is worse. Because the destruction came in other ways, but I knew that there was something else. And the constant question on my mind, is if you ever even cared at all? And wondering if I even knew the real you. Why is it always that the one person we don't want to even think about, we can't stop writing about? I guess it's just finally time to say enough is enough. The wondering feeling is torture. It's rough. I guess here's to hoping I have the strength to give up. I guess it's true what they say, the thing worth holding onto wouldn't have let go in the first place.