i wonder
when was the last time your cheeks relaxed
and the plastered grin crumpled into your parted lips
expelling the hot breath fastened inside swelling lungs
with a safety pin

or your shoulders
slumped with the gravity of a million worlds
(including mine)
that orbit your clenched fists like the sun

and as much as i would like to i cannot
pry your fingers open
or chip away at your stucco smile
or will you to inhale and exhale my love