I can't believe it's almost
two years to the day
and still to this day
I can't stomach to look
at your face
because looking at your face
means looking at your mouth
and your mouth gives me anxiety
in the worst kind of way

I wonder if they know
your gifriend or your sister
I would say your parents but
we all know that they don't
because they are my parents too
and I've made absolutely sure
to keep this secret safe between
the sheets of my bed and
pieces of paper that always
find their way to the bottom
of my trashcan

your mouth
you smelled like alcohol even though
we both know there was no way
you could have possibly been drunk
you snuck me down into a basement
I will never be able to crawl out of
without turning the lives of everyone
upstairs in our house upside down

so why am I still keeping your secret
don't I deserve that
don't I deserve upside down and
broken glasses and furious parents
don't I deserve answers and closure and
the simple satisfaction in the fact that
everyone would know what you did

but it's almost two years to the day
and as they're lighting the candles
on my birthday cake
the only wish I have left
is that no one
will ever
find out