Just about swallowed a mouthful
Of ginger
I'm so ******* tired.

Its good, its sweet, I sweat
Without glistening
Fires, I sent them all around me
Dancing in the center
The movie star of my own life
I've seen my leading man
Fall through pits in the ground
I stop sometimes, take a deep look, trying to fish them out
Until an army of beautiful distractions
Pulled me away.

Decided to stay in tonight
Cathartically luxuriate in solitude
Beautiful words exchanged next to an atm
I snap photos of my friends
In our own way
We are all up here
Naked
Getting body painted.

Whiskey ginger
A man that likes my best friend
Called me last night
Beautiful Innovator and I laid on my gypsy bed
I talked about you.

Dodging bullet
I sop and stamp out mud
The mud that sank deep into my pores
Your new girls best friend was out with us last night
And she ******* dug me.

Twirling, twirling in red, blue, and white
Sometimes--I'll think back
To just how you wanted your voice to sound
"Thats what we do"
As if chewing on a toothpick
The toothpick of everything you wanted me to be
So that you could cower and hide
In your lack of
Your lack of
Your lack of

To connect.
To build.
Two of my favorite things in this entire world.

Ain't no man out there that can take that from me.

A beautiful woman caught my eye last night
She hung a tree glued into a bullet shell around my neck
The string broke the next morning
I took it off for work
And hung it on my polaroids and special trinkets
She said it guarded against darkness and death
What a year its been.

We gotta change the date
I guess sentimentality can indeed wait
As those higher up than us command the states
My voice still so raspy
I put certain things away
Can't afford that
Can't afford that
But most of the time I feel so good in the pits of my soul
But sometimes at work
I catch myself feeling so much hurt.

The hurt.
Shall we address it?
Or keep it as a little secret
A secret hidden in the crevices of a music box
That I am sure you now too, store under your bed
Or the treaty gift I gave you
Just around Valentine's day
A new man once again
Sleeps in my bed.

Dark like the epitome of the night
He cuddled me all night
I woke from a strangling sensation
Anxiety overwhelming me
He woke up too, reassured me
Held me
Remember
Remember
Don't you remember
I try to forget.

Its whatever.
It didn't last for that long
You were a fake, a mistake
Threw me away within minutes
"**** boy"
Hung across every room
It trickles and weighs in the sockets of my eyeballs
At times
But then I do, I remember
A series of negative harmful cards
Played out in front of my eyes
As if I were to never escape
"Is there anything I should know, or warn her about"
Your new girlfriends best friend asked me
"God bless."
Was all I really said.

Silence.
There truly is something golden about silence.
I wasn't kidding when I told you
One day you would have to see my name everywhere
But may God bless.

I'm so tired.
Theres so much to be done, to do
Chicago whirls and whispers just like the wind
I remember standing in East Lakeview
My father took pictures of me
Not much has changed
But then
Everything has changed.

Lets let it be a lesson
I don't know where this takes me
I don't want to hate you
But I go get drinks after work
My plans to avoid your presence
And all the ways in which
You made it about you and you and you and you and you
and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and
And
And
and
&

She allowed herself
To be happy.