it's been three hours since
i even thought about trying to find sleep
in this muggy room that swirls with my own hatred
and the wind is still tapping
its gentle fingers against my window
and it's dark outside but
at this point I think I've accepted
the fact that sleep will not
be visiting me tonight.
so
here I lie exhausted and uncomfortable
hoping that if I wish hard enough
maybe my dreams won't be
so afraid of me
*anymore