My body shut down this week
Creaking and hinging doors resounding
Shutting and clamoring down
Seemed so hopeful for a split second
Felt good to discuss, intellect swimming
Confetti started to fill the room
My eyes, but its been hard to leave the bed
My body shut down.

Sitting on the chair in the doctors office
I get lost in my own fields
Paint brushes, forgotten kisses
Words I make myself speak
Life much too short to keep sounds.

He's goin' through a break up
Grief in his voice, I let him go too
Wasn't fun or what I wanted to do
But I see pictures of the past with his new girlfriend
And I'm such a lover of women
But that girl is ******* ratchet.

"I tried to tell you. I warned you."
I hold hands and make my own profound way
Thankful for the business
That tomorrow and the rest of eternity will bring
I don't got time to be sad
But I allowed the weather to reflect my innermost state
On this day, my body feels so heavy, fatigued
Its too bad cuz our connection was real deep.

I felt apprehensive
Just 'bout cookin' you a meal
And I think really
Its about where I'm at
Not interested if a future isn't on the table
And right now, I can't cook for two
Not cuz I can't afford it, although thats real too
But because the thought of catering
Caring, sweeping
For another

I just can't do it.
I'm too tired, too weary
I've extended and given so much of myself away

So I take a hot breath in
Release another one out
This is truly the most alone I've ever been.

I become friends with it.
I stand and look it right in the eye
I don't deny my feelings inside
Or shut my mouth to make you or you comfortable
But I persist, I chase the wind
I shut the **** up about ticking clocks
Or just how you forgot
What was next to you.

Who ******* cares
Not me
I don't have time to.

He will show up
When its right.