The rain was coming down so hard
it drenched me to the bone
I saw a wooden structure
in the distance all alone
I made my way unto the door
and shouted loud and clear
Old Noah popped his head out
and said 'son get out of here!'

The door slammed shut abruptly
and I stood there like a fool
This wasn't like old Noah
to be acting so uncool
I pressed my ear up to the door
and thought I heard a goat
Then all at once I realized
this structure was a boat

A boat indeed filled to the top
with horses, sheep, and fowl
And every other kind of beast
that clucks or brays or howls
I knocked again and shouted
to be heard above the din
'It's raining pretty hard out here
come on and let me in!'

Old Noah shouted through the door
'I'm sorry but I can't
I'd welcome you most gladly
if you were a duck or ant'
'A duck? You must be joking
now come on and let me in
The water's rising very fast
it's nearly to my chin'.

I’m sorry I don’t make the rules
and I don't mean to be rude
But I’ve got a lot of work to do
so friend I guess you’re *******”
‘In the name of God I’m begging you’
I pleaded and I cried
I’m going to die right here and now
if you don’t let me inside!’

The door flew open suddenly
and Noah gave a frown
‘Well get your *** inside the ark
before you go and drown!’
Most happily I came inside
but Noah looked quite ******
'We're going to be in trouble boy
when God gets wind of this!'

'But I'm sure that God all mighty
would not be so unkind
You showed me love and mercy
when you rescued my behind'
Old Noah clenched an angry jaw
and furled a mighty brow
'I don't think that you understand
the situation now

God was most specific
on who could take this ride
If he knew I let you in here
he would have my ancient hide'
Then all at once the heavens cleared
and the water ceased to fall
the birds were singing happily
and the sun was standing tall

Noah stood in disbelief
confusion on his brow
He shouted out unto the sky
'What do I do now?!?'
He stood for several minutes
as if waiting for a sign
Then grabbed a piece of parchment
and began a simple line

'For forty days and forty nights
the wind is going to blow
and the rain will fall in buckets
unto the earth below
And evil then will parish
leaving Noah and his crew
and about a million animals
to begin the world anew'

'Hold on there!' I scrutinized
'You're story is absurd'
But Noah kept on scribbling
as if he hadn't heard.
'There was no flood'
I pointed out
'So why tell folks this lie?'
Old Noah put his pen down
and he gave a weary sigh

'A couple thousand years from now
when people reads these lines
They're going to think me quite a guy
for saving all mankind
In fact I think I much prefer
this version of events
At least my future progeny
won't think that I was bent'

I must admit his logic
made a lot of sense to me
The man had built a massive boat
ten miles from the sea
His character could not withstand
a thousand years of shame
And if I were in Noah's shoes
I might just do the same