I called you after it had happened and while I was sitting in the bathtub in ice cold water watching the water drip from the faucet and as I let tears fall down my cheeks and as I scrubbed away what you did I tried my best to sound composed but I couldn't and that's why when you answered I hung up because I wasn't sure I could tell you of my shame and how scared I was and I was so afraid to let you in, because then you'd see a part of me you had yet to see and what if you wouldn't want me anymore because who wants a used and so severely broken little girl like me? I wouldn't be your little girl anymore and you wouldn't see me as a beautiful flower, but as a bunch of broken and dried up rose petals and there's so much more in the world besides someone like me and how could you stay with someone so repulsive I don't know I don't know I don't---