You don't want to do this
Despite everything your demons say
This will not change how you feel
This will not change what she did
It won't change the fact that your pride is more important than talking to your dad
It won't make you feel alive
It won't make you forget
And I know it's all you've known for 7 years
But your mind was cloudy back then
And now you have choices
Put the knife away
I don't even know why you bought it in the first place
You knew it would tempt you
But I want it
No, you want to numb yourself
You want the rush and then the drop
The high it gives you
But it helps me
Oh Jackie
You poor lost soul
A self created version of who you used to be
You don't even compare to the original
You create this idea in your head that this self inflicted coping mechanism is the only thing saving you
That without it you would stir and suffer in silence
And your scars are your battle cries
They yell for you
They show your story
You think this is what makes you human
This is what it means to feel
I don't think I can stop
You have to
Or it will **** you
I know you don't like to think like that but you have to
Society won't do anything for you
These people won't protect you
The blade can't be the one who connects you to reality
And if you keep going it will only break you more
And honestly I don't know how much you have left