I feel like I should be moving forward but I have been in retrograde ever since my soul looked at you and kind of smiled, kind of went “oh, there you are”, and I had to run because I knew my mouth would not get me out of this alive
It’s not right but it’s not wrong either and now the whole world is a grey canvas with subtle shades of blue I wish I was colour blind I wish I didn’t want to kiss your face and send you every thank you card ever made for making me feel like a human being who isn’t all walls and sky rise buildings strategically blocking the sun but vulnerable and warm and thriving and willing and open I want to be open but I will sew myself shut and trap the ghosts between my thighs and in my ribcage and put up a “warning” sign: to all future visitors, I will never not admire you for your curiosity you want to be a connoisseur of skin and quickened breath a connoisseur of just how far down the road you have to travel before you make them gasp **** in that tone that’s halfway between a shout and a whisper a connoisseur of just how many words you can make sound ***** if they’re coming from a pretty mouth I will never not envy you for it I will tell you about a time in which I relied on it to feel alive instead of checking my pulse on the metro How it made me feel like a child again it's summer time and I am in the yard in a dress with a print like the flowers and you're bending me over the swing set
to all future visitors,
you can stop for a visit I don’t mind you can enter at your own risk and you can enter if you don’t mind playing with yourself