I was doing so well.

That's probably what makes this hurt so much. I had been pushing and pushing and exceeding everyone's expectations and doing great and...

I pushed a little too hard.

I forgot what it felt like to be burned out. Not exactly depression, though some self-loathing is swimming around in my head. No suicidal thoughts or endless tears. Just being so exhausted. Just being pushed a little too hard.

I don't even know what to write and that probably hurts the most. I love writing. I always have a thousand stories, more, dancing in my cranium and pounding inside my skull to get out. I am even thinking of some right now. But i just find it do hard to do it.

Why is that? Why do people sometimes struggle with the simple act of doing something?

I wish I had some prophetic response, but I don't. Not today. I'm lucky I've been able to get out of bed and attempt to write, let alone function normally.

I can write a bit better. My fingers can t least move and attempt to throw something out. Its just hard. That happens when you get burned out. You just need to lay for awhile and let your body do its fixing magic, even if it drives you a little mad.

The synapses can't exactly find their way back together if I keep on making them run in different directions.

I've been eroding myself. I didn't know, I couldn't feel it, but now I do. Its just this aching in my head as if it hurts to even think. I hope my brain has gotten pretty good at healing, because I'm willing to give it a couple more hours before I go stir crazy. I'll try not to erode it, but the less impatient and stressed I am the better chance I have.

I just want to be able to do everything. Why does that have to be so hard?