Mar 2016
Day 1:
“Oh hey what’s up man, how’s your day been today?”
“Pretty solid, I was weirdly productive at work so that was nice. Just gonna get some rest now.”
“Wouldn’t you rather think about that time in 3rd grade when you beat up your classmate Patrick for no reason and told him to keep quiet while your teacher walked the line?”
“What? No. Why on Earth would I want that?”
“Just thought I’d ask. It’s been back here awhile.”
Day 2:
“Sup dude?”
“Kinda busy right now. Working a new deadlift PR. Can this wait?”
“Can you carry on a relationship that doesn’t end with a woman crying and your fists breaking your furniture?”
Day 3:
“Hey…”
“What are you gaining from this?”
“Me? Nothing, I’m just making sure you don’t forget.”
“What’s the point in remembering?”
“Everyone else has to. What makes you so special?”
Day 4:
“…….”
“I can hear your breathing.”
“……………”
“Just say whatever you want.”
“She’s been active on her social media accounts today.”
“I know.”
Day 5:
“Man, you’re lucky you’ve at least got a dog to hang out with you.”
“Yeah man, she keeps me going.”
“Did you lock the door?”
“Yeah I always do why?”
“Well her collar’s off at night so if she got out no one would ever find her.”
“She’s fine I promise you.”
“Well she’s small and has dark fur so hopefully car headlights are as confident as you are.”
Day 6:
“Good morning.”
“No. I’m dead serious. Today is not the day.”
“Whoa now, why the hostility?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m here for.”
“I saw a camo energy drink this morning and broke down sobbing at 7 am in the middle of a crowded gas station because I could physically feel her going on with her day no matter how hard I try to hold on. I missed the way her hair tastes like sullen acoustic guitar songs and how she walks around in the mornings wearing only a bra as she gets ready for work. Modestly brazen. I can’t stop thinking about how my skin felt like it belonged to me for the first time the moment her body pressed against mine and she let the curve of her smile crash against my crooked face. Can’t stop missing the way she spun on her toes when she had a secret she wanted to share so what, what the **** could you possibly have to tell me? Let’s hear it big shot.”
“For a moment a self-inflicted gunshot wound looks like a halo in full bloom.”
Day 7:
“Please. I’m begging you. I can’t handle anymore right now. I need a break from this just for an hour.”
“Remember how she lotions her entire body after a shower with her wet hair ******* and you couldn’t stop being amazed at the fact that you’ve never seen anyone lotion their *** before?”
“Yeah, we both know I remember that.”
“Why couldn’t you just stop?”
“I don’t know. I tried to explain to her that my soul felt like whiskey smells every time I yelled at her and I hated myself for it. I was sick then and am getting the help I need, but the silence is more powerful than therapy.”
“I see the tip of the iceberg, and I worry about you.”
“Oh hey what’s up man, how’s your day been today?”
“Pretty solid, I was weirdly productive at work so that was nice. Just gonna get some rest now.”
“Wouldn’t you rather think about that time in 3rd grade when you beat up your classmate Patrick for no reason and told him to keep quiet while your teacher walked the line?”
“What? No. Why on Earth would I want that?”
“Just thought I’d ask. It’s been back here awhile.”
Day 2:
“Sup dude?”
“Kinda busy right now. Working a new deadlift PR. Can this wait?”
“Can you carry on a relationship that doesn’t end with a woman crying and your fists breaking your furniture?”
Day 3:
“Hey…”
“What are you gaining from this?”
“Me? Nothing, I’m just making sure you don’t forget.”
“What’s the point in remembering?”
“Everyone else has to. What makes you so special?”
Day 4:
“…….”
“I can hear your breathing.”
“……………”
“Just say whatever you want.”
“She’s been active on her social media accounts today.”
“I know.”
Day 5:
“Man, you’re lucky you’ve at least got a dog to hang out with you.”
“Yeah man, she keeps me going.”
“Did you lock the door?”
“Yeah I always do why?”
“Well her collar’s off at night so if she got out no one would ever find her.”
“She’s fine I promise you.”
“Well she’s small and has dark fur so hopefully car headlights are as confident as you are.”
Day 6:
“Good morning.”
“No. I’m dead serious. Today is not the day.”
“Whoa now, why the hostility?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m here for.”
“I saw a camo energy drink this morning and broke down sobbing at 7 am in the middle of a crowded gas station because I could physically feel her going on with her day no matter how hard I try to hold on. I missed the way her hair tastes like sullen acoustic guitar songs and how she walks around in the mornings wearing only a bra as she gets ready for work. Modestly brazen. I can’t stop thinking about how my skin felt like it belonged to me for the first time the moment her body pressed against mine and she let the curve of her smile crash against my crooked face. Can’t stop missing the way she spun on her toes when she had a secret she wanted to share so what, what the **** could you possibly have to tell me? Let’s hear it big shot.”
“For a moment a self-inflicted gunshot wound looks like a halo in full bloom.”
Day 7:
“Please. I’m begging you. I can’t handle anymore right now. I need a break from this just for an hour.”
“Remember how she lotions her entire body after a shower with her wet hair ******* and you couldn’t stop being amazed at the fact that you’ve never seen anyone lotion their *** before?”
“Yeah, we both know I remember that.”
“Why couldn’t you just stop?”
“I don’t know. I tried to explain to her that my soul felt like whiskey smells every time I yelled at her and I hated myself for it. I was sick then and am getting the help I need, but the silence is more powerful than therapy.”
“I see the tip of the iceberg, and I worry about you.”
