i like that expression,
a little time for myself,
it's not exactly
about being selfish,
a momentary trick of
faked disappearance,
when i say a little time for
myself, i mean it's
a time when i can be selfish
in my pain, i can appreciate it,
and i don't need to turn to
sainthood; like the concept
of the anti-crux with the anti-christ,
the anti-crux being a sickbed...
the slow digestion of either
body and its liver and kidneys,
but also the slow disintegration
of the mind and the representatives
of the body's organs akin: the faculties:
intellect or the brain, memory or the stomach,
imagination or the heart, arithmetic
or the bones -
we have provided splinters of what
ought to be abstracted,
pains and pleasures, whatever extreme is
forced upon us, we abstract it,
as is due in the encapsulating capacity
of our potential, if not will,
for in the capacity of expressing will
we follow through, wholly embracing...
but the power to a potential...
well... that's like almost *******
but withdrawing from *******
as an obstruction of giving life, a furthering,
rather keeping it all to yourself.