Insomniac (I need some space)

Lying there lifeless pretending... Pretending to be asleep the gray ceiling drips onto my face with each passing second the room gets smaller and hotter Smothered by restlessness suffocated by longing I sigh a heavy sigh expelling another moment from my muddled life debating on whether I should get up or not: The effort of pulling off the iron covers the indecision, the fear afraid of being caught Sneaking out to do naughty things? I think not. Something I shouldn't be doing? Hardly. Taking slow strides across the room my eyes adjust just enough to bring forth indistinguishable shapes I rely only on the silent energy that the darkness emits my ears pivot to pick up the blackness' ululating drone I tune into its mystic frequency abandoning all mixed signals that came about today The slits of oceanic blue light slather the window's opposing wall an illuminescence too scarce to peg the door's frame I twist the cold brass knob until I hear the click of metal Tip - toe - ing . . . through the never-ending runway-hallway that seems to S T R E C H o n f o r M I L E S strafing crucified agaist the wall still hitting every creak I had been aiming to miss Descending down the steps I reach the Flat one more step down and my excitement rises I glide across wooden floors stirring up invisible dust... I am the lazy particles that float in the air minus the fanned out beams of sunlight shining through cracked blinds to scream out my presence and fuel my pestiness Finally I am close close enough to breathe steam on the storm door remove the stick push up the lock pull. slide. open. Ahhhh The cold air knocks the wind into me My first barefoot step is into a pool of icewater turning to close the door I enter hypothermia my body crystalizes, cracks, shatters, and re-crystalizes again sitting down on the step I become inorganic I tilt my empty heavy head up to the heavanly sky, howling my thoughts to our silver satellite I try to find comfort from afar - comfort my bed alone could not supply my insides evaporate from my frozen skin and disperse into the air my particles grow incandescent wings the kind that effortlessly flaps and flutters My molecules are thrust up towards the sky they leave me behind to join the stars I welcome their departure and wave goodbye I hope when they return they bring back good tidings Now that my insides are gone, my particles adrift, My frozen-solid body is hollow and so, a weight is lifted (even if only temporarily, the numbness is temporary) Still gazing at the infinite clusters of stars like woven celestial patchwork littered across infinite black plains I feel content admiring the lone stars adventurous and brave as they come Feeling like those lone stars, trying to find my place I snuck out to my backyard All I needed was some space

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