I've felt stress Daily. But the load has never this bad, baby My head is pounding My stomach is twisting and burning I want to wake up in your arms I want to be reminded every morning that you're there to save me From myself But I can't save the world in bed with you
I'm getting everything I want But I can't have it all together My head is cloudy Worries flying to the forefront of my consciousness Each stressor fighting for my attention My shoulders aren't broad enough to carry the load It's spilling from my eyes And landing on the corners of your perfect mouth I try to localize the pain within my arms' reach So nobody else gets hurt But you've stepped into my arms And I'm letting you taste it from my lips
What do I want? Without the factors? I want to come home to you every day Starting right now But I can't...without changing your well-established life And I don’t expect you to follow me But I pray to God that you wait for me As I pack my schedule Work tens of states away Study with hundreds of miles in between us I hate feeling like I'm choosing this over you Truth is, I want to stay with you more than any of this. When I’m with you There’s no way to fail and nobody to disappoint You’re safe and I WANT TO STAY HERE My heart is telling my head, stomach--every part of me That I want you this summer and always But I'm working and studying for more than myself and even for you—my favorite part of life In Maine I truly feel like I'm contributing to science, toward a cure for glaucoma As an optometrist, I'll be able to help thousands of patients see the world I can't possibly be in this for the money, either I'm taking so many hits in the process of trying to make the biggest impact I can on this world I’m a bundle of insecurities with a bizarre responsibility to use what little I have to make lives after mine better It’s why I pick so many battles Care so much about politics Organize all of these committees Kiss babies and stare off into their futures Decide to uncomfortably go out and softly tell my truths It’s why I chose to be a scientist and a doctor. But it’s costing us—and it kills me that it’s costing you, too. You’re a main character in this crazy, transitional chapter of my life And I hope you’ll stay for the rest of my book.