does it matter that I miss you?
does it matter that I still think you're funny?
does it matter that I still love your smile,
the way you talk
the way you laugh?

does it matter that I still love you?
does it matter that I'm sorry?
does it matter that I can name a million things I would have done differently?

what does it matter?
what does any of it matter?
none of it made any difference.
what did I need to be so that you would have kept loving me?
cooler, more distant?
thinner, or less flippant?
or perhaps not so opinionated and messy.

but what does it matter?