i blamed you
for the large scar on my wrist
and the way i can't
hear that dumb song
without crying

i blamed you
for ruining my life
and causing me
to push everyone
away

because it was easier
blaming you for everything

and i couldn't admit to myself
that i was the one
breaking my own heart

and sometimes
i find myself awake at night
wondering if i am the reason
you believe you're a bad person

did i cause those gashes
on your thighs

i'm sorry


i still love you