Mickey mouse dress over the lamp shade
Sometimes feeling so small, like little
Glass figurines
I just got hit with the wonderment
The swan
The swan I gave to you
Before you left
I wonder where it lives now.

And thats not a question
Because I don't need or want an answer
One of my girlfriends makes me sick
When your name comes up
Sounds like you are embracing, trying
Who you are now
I write the pain away whenever it seeps in.

Remember when we had our call and response?
That also wasn't a question
Because I don't want your answer
And even if you did, in some black void
Paint back
It would be the color of
Transparency.

Its moments and nights
Like this, where I choose to reside alone
Unlike you, I embrace solitude
Marking the page in blueberry ink
23 days.

Maybe I miscounted before
I've lost score
Of how long it took for me to see

I've lost so much.

My Production Designer tonight sat in my chair
And we discussed whether or not
We would relive past love again
I said I wouldn't.

I don't know
I don't know much anymore
But the moments and the beauty I felt
As I watched my work vibrate, echo, and hover
Like fearless angels levitating away from man's grip
I thought, I just thought and felt
How could I ever want more?

And its funny to me now
"Why the **** did he do that?"
Bathroom of the DIY space a girlfriend asks
In reference to your betrayal, lack of support
I watch The Wolf flip his hair, smoke gusting and swirling
But my heart, my emotions
Funneled into that little ring box
You placed your porcelain swan in.

You've got a new one now
Its serious, I heard
My lover and me, we look right into each others eyes
He notices when I'm distant
He came to my screening
He kissed me this morning before he went to work
I don't know or care what any of it means
But if you thought you could just store us away
In a little box
Hide us from the seriousness of your right now
You betray your new years resolution
With cowardice

But. But.
Oh my
That wasn't a question
None of it was.

I was so tired, my eyes so heavy
When I said I love you back for the first time
I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready
You chased me down the street
Piling up your love like decayed skeleton bones
To all the questions I didn't and never will ask.

I wish it had been different.
I wish I had been different.
I wish you had been different.
I wish, I just wish

None of that was a question.