My neighbors above my head are having ***
Moaning and shrieking, lets give the men pleasure
I'm not so sure why I felt so lonely the past two times
You licked me up like I was red carnal meat.

I sat on the floor staring up at the projector
My tight little black jumper choking me
I glanced over at the door as you swept into the room
Like black or purple midnight smoke
"Lets be ninjas about it"
I said, a coy grin on my face
If only you didn't belong to another.


I guess?
I suppose?
I reckon?
I drank a lot of red wine, pulled aside
Men wanted to discuss the chapters
My heart felt so full, so elated
Its funny how you can float from one moment to the next
But then a thing or two deflates it as if
It was only a temporary mirage.

Perhaps I need to work on my professional language.

**** it
Whatfucking ever.

Haven't heard from you since this morning
I don't feel like recording ******* voice overs right now
Cleaning my kitchen in order to encourage happiness
All I got back from one of my room mates was a
"Thanks"

You can't win everyone's hearts.

I felt so apathetic, so cool, collected
Its so easy to place your hands through the fog
To sort it out with calm, collected words
Thinking no one can really see the panic in my heart
I can't believe you turned around
You turned around
You turned around
You turned around
You turned around
And were everything you said you weren't.

When I feel bitter or sad
I think about the fact that you are inked forever
Or how my last beautiful words must have left blood on your tongue
I step away from the anger, the doubt
I am told what to do early in the morning till mid afternoon
My eyes were swollen from red wine all day
Taking the every 30 minute temperature of soup


And for a few days out of the week
I pretend to be a civilian
To be one of them
I don't have to wear my artist hat
I don't have to shine or radiate
I drank and smoke a lot last night
No trigger warning, I just sassed it up

And its funny how one or two little thing
Can make you question everything.

The Wolf said to me last night
As I laid atop his dark mangy fur
With a growl and a whisper
Special. You said I was special.
Because not just anyone gets to **** the director.

You're right.
They don't.
And it makes me think of how we, we women
We always gotta have our paws and jaws up
Ready to be armed to fight
Or to sit down and die
I receive messages nodding at me for my bravery
And yet I still find myself

You turned around
You turned around
You were just like the rest
You were and are everything you said
You weren't
But we all smile in unison
Everyone comforts with friendship in the future
I know you do what you can to get by
But please, please ******* for 6 months.

I growl back at the wolf
The full moon hanging in the night sky
I take a night off for me
From everything.

"Fast Layne"
A Coworker gave me the nickname today
Thats a new one.
I watch Lemons rot but bare new seeds
Teedle plays in the southern sunshine
Floony Facetimes from afar
Layney remains in second grade
LM performs monologues to walls
And Layne Marie

Well.

She's the dangerously vivid one here.