I still
Check your horoscope
Pretend to hear the beat of your heart
I buoy in the ocean as you sail away
You took the mountains, stars, & laundry when you left
Packed them up
Scribbled memories become like paper tumbleweeds fading with disease of time
Friends interview windmills of questions
A brain doesn't know what's best
But that's all that's left
I forgot to carve our names into a tree
The door hinge is mad at me now
Squeaking why in angry backwards Butterfly effects
I bargained with a black man playing checkers on a milk crate who couldn't decide if he was God or the Devil
He said "What's the difference"
I find the loneliness in cermaics class
My hands have forgotten beauty
The clay just melts away in my mixed emotions
I still haven't found acceptance
I went to the graveyard and looked
I looked in the red sweater, your favorite
I looked in the park where I carved you a sycamore walking stick
The same park under the same tree
You told me You didn't wanna be in love anymore
Maybe acceptance is in the crossword puzzle my grandfather mailed me
Or some cult that worships clouds
I think it'll be a white flower alone on top of a mountain far from home
Then I will fall asleep and forget your name