I’m Oxfam clothed and head full of henna, he’s Age Concern dressed for less than a tenner. Does this make us rivals or more compatible? Anything’s possible now I’m out of hospital, picking his path oblivious to obstacles, catching him in an unguarded interval; he’s too hospitable to swerve my tentacles and I too intent on the prey.
“What’s with the titfer?” I bubble up giggly, kissing his cheek and trying his trilby, holding his eyes – why should I feel guilty? If he’ll play Jesus lurking in Gethsemane then I’ll be Judas flirting with the enemy. Don’t say betrayal and the double agent, I’m just a female at my play station. He used to be nurse and I the patient, now we negotiate new relations.
Aspiring to more of an equal footing I’ve climbed too high and abandoned hoodies, the dreary woollies, sackcloth and ashes, the words that stuck to my tongue like glue. Between heavy make-up and credit crashes I talk too naughty and hug too warmly – he must take his turn to be poorly, his turn to breathe in blue.
In minutes the mood will be mellowing: I shall saxophone and cello him and proffer the charms of poor scarred arms, the burnt flesh of thighs and *******, this sin within my second-hand dress to caress his heart and capture him. Wind and string go enrapturing! Pull him close to the edge of the abyss – I want him to hang on my lips as I’ve hung so long on his.