I squander love
I fixate on the **** that I hate
And turned a blind eye to what I love

I remember every breathe inbetween each kiss I've shared with all of my lovers.
But only the sacred sense of scent can bring me back to the moments I drive out of my dense skull.

I lay upon a godly harness
That was constructed by my most hidden vices. It's the only place I can get some ******* rest.

In every moment of lonely darkness, the dogs that I've let loose bark and cower in my ear.  And I reflect, "if I don't shut this god forsaken machine off, it will run into collapse," so I pull the plug.

I stare into a mirror, and it shatters, the cracks spell guilt, and my eyes shout shame. I hear the way you yelled my name, and that day I watched the moon reveal to us the truth.

But, I throw it away, I throw it all away. My blood stained tears drop and land on every spot that you've touched. The world will remind me of my shortcomings and everytime formless love begged me to ******* stay.

And I know I would, if I thought that I truly believed I deserved it.