Mar 2016
I thought we could all be a choir of insecure teenagers pretending nothing is wrong when in our heads it is all wrong.
I sang the blues and danced in the hallways of the school, but my only applause was
pointing fingers and laughter.
I knew that if I ruled the world, I would have everyone sit in a circle and just
say it the way their young mind wants them to.
If I was queen of the drama I would say to scream the worst of the worst profanity,
get in the center of the tile floor as if it is your stage,
vent, spread your arms apart as your fingers leave inches of space,
and cry for all to see.
Never would I let anyone go back to the same person at the same time of day.
We would pick someone new and together we would learn through conversation that there is power when meeting a stranger. To all I was one.
Talking to yourself will no longer be a crime, and I would make it ok for
everyone to jump up and down, say something wrong, and shrug to any words that
are worth the outrageous reaction.
Never make fun of me for all that I do at any moment at any time.
I knew I would never rule the world at age thirteen as stress was lit like a match and flames of tears and a lying face would burn all over me.
The scar burns and ashes have melted away and I can smile again,
and when the phoenix flies by so high and visible,
every tic stops for a moment as I am detained by graceful vision.
I am alive today carrying but not devoting the way I see myself that has made me stronger, and not only a woman with bravery,
but a teacher with lessons of respect.
Now class,
you can’t control the rest of the students,
but be kind to yourself first,
never punish yourself for your flaws,
and see how compassion and love
brings you to believe
in your own
strength.
We can’t all have the same spirit inside,
but we can let it outside of ourselves to
show we belong together as a world.
Class dismissed,
now your homework tonight
is to read yourself and write a paper
about all the things you love about
who you are, not anybody else.
You won’t be graded,
this is all for
you.
I sang the blues and danced in the hallways of the school, but my only applause was
pointing fingers and laughter.
I knew that if I ruled the world, I would have everyone sit in a circle and just
say it the way their young mind wants them to.
If I was queen of the drama I would say to scream the worst of the worst profanity,
get in the center of the tile floor as if it is your stage,
vent, spread your arms apart as your fingers leave inches of space,
and cry for all to see.
Never would I let anyone go back to the same person at the same time of day.
We would pick someone new and together we would learn through conversation that there is power when meeting a stranger. To all I was one.
Talking to yourself will no longer be a crime, and I would make it ok for
everyone to jump up and down, say something wrong, and shrug to any words that
are worth the outrageous reaction.
Never make fun of me for all that I do at any moment at any time.
I knew I would never rule the world at age thirteen as stress was lit like a match and flames of tears and a lying face would burn all over me.
The scar burns and ashes have melted away and I can smile again,
and when the phoenix flies by so high and visible,
every tic stops for a moment as I am detained by graceful vision.
I am alive today carrying but not devoting the way I see myself that has made me stronger, and not only a woman with bravery,
but a teacher with lessons of respect.
Now class,
you can’t control the rest of the students,
but be kind to yourself first,
never punish yourself for your flaws,
and see how compassion and love
brings you to believe
in your own
strength.
We can’t all have the same spirit inside,
but we can let it outside of ourselves to
show we belong together as a world.
Class dismissed,
now your homework tonight
is to read yourself and write a paper
about all the things you love about
who you are, not anybody else.
You won’t be graded,
this is all for
you.
Just because I live with Tourrette's syndrome, doesn't mean it rules me. I rule it but not the world. The world can learn how to accept others baggage that shows in their body and voice.
