the standard definition of anxiety is this: "a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome."

last night was one of the worst nights ive had in over a year

i was plagued with anxiety the moment i walked into my house
and it didn't seem to fade with a shower
or tea
or even my favorite killers album

unnecessary fear surged through me like fire
and when i laid my head down to sleep
my head would not stop yelling unrealistic but terrifying scenarios

mom told me to snap out of it
and i almost snapped her neck in half

anxiety is not something you can control
i don't think im being cute, and i sure as hell am not doing it for attention

anxiety is almost impossible to explain
anxiety is this:

going go the doctors office at 2pm with your stomach in knots
and nausea in the pit of your stomach
finding out that it was no big deal
and then feeling like crap for making it all about you