This is a letter to future me for my God:
I love you lord with all my heart.
I lack the strength I need to remain constant and to fight my urges but once upon a time you came so that I could be free in these struggles.
You loved me when no one else did.
How can I be so dumb to doubt your love.
Your anger lasts only for a moment and your favor lasts a lifetime.
I pray lord that you will give me the faith to stand firm for once in my life and stop this madness.
Take it away please Lord.
Make me pure,  make me clean, and whole again.
Thank you thank you thank you for your grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
I beg of you to not let me fall away again.
Hold my hand through this journey as I look to you with every decision and struggle.
I give you all my God.
Praise be to him forever and always, the creator of all things.