This high school is big
I don't really know anyone and no one really knows me
I met this girl that makes me feel both happy and sad
She does a lot of drugs but I think there could be something between us
My head hurts
I crashed into a wall playing basketball and now I don't really feel the same
I'm angry a lot
She is starting to do more drugs and I've started cutting
High school is not what I thought it would be
I'm starting to make new friends because she's not talking to me anymore
I think she was in the hospital over the summer or something
I think everyone knows I'm gay
I don't really talk about it but I think it's obvious
******* my mom just asked me if I was gay
Should I lie?
**** now my whole family knows
I'm in love with this girl
And the cool thing is, is that she loves me too
I still cut everyday
The only person who knows is my best friend and I don't think she knows what to do
A kid put a note on my locker that said ******
How did he even know where my locker was?
People are mad and I'm just kind of numb
High school is not what I thought it would be
I'm now a junior and this year is going pretty well
I'm still in love but she is becoming really depressed
I think my mind is playing tricks on me
I keep seeing myself dying
I don't really want to die but maybe it would make things better
Everyone is taking about college but I've never really been book smart
I also sleep a lot in class so that doesn't help me either
But there is this really cool program called AmeriCorps NCCC
I could travel and help a lot of people
I think I'll look into it
Wow I'm a senior
I'm no longer with that girl I loved
Things got really complicated
Someone hacked my Facebook and called me ****** again
I wish people had new insults
My friends are *******
I just kind of wish I was straight
I applied for AmeriCorps but my dad says I won't get in
I don't really have a backup plan
I promised my best friend I would stop cutting so I'm going to try
I also think I'm going to get a tattoo to cover some scars but I'm kind of nervous
My head hurts again
I got knocked into the bleachers at track practice
And now it hurts when it's loud and bright outside
My whole season is ruined
Hey
I got accepted into AmeriCorps
I'm going to Colorado in October
Things are really coming together
I haven't cut in 4 whole months
I graduated high school today....