Knifes are still screaming at me
The light that shines upon them
Begging me to cave in
To cave in across my skin
Until the skin turns red
And the blood flows out, slowly.

The voice keeps whispering
That I should cut before he leaves
To prepare myself
For the pain and the loneliness
For the darkness that will talk to me again.

They say I should go
And be inpatient again
To torture myself
To tear my own heart

They even say
I have to lie to him
Just so he would leave
And I would be home
In the darkness of my mind
The deepest part
Only he has found.

And the fear is paralizing.
No more realizing
Of the happiness I found
Every time
His voice is the sound
The only sound in the cold room I'm in.

And some part of me
Wishes to save him
And another part
Wants him to save me
From my own dark cloud
The dark cloud, I myself
have made.

And I have to cave in
But I don't want to disappoint him.
But the voice won't stop.
And it's killing me from inside out.