how long have i been sitting here
just came out of a fog
minutes and hours and years///Dear girl you are so desperately trying to force something out for what, validation? and for what validation? don't you know by now that it's not to serve yourself but serve the Universe
     well yes that's why i took 30 minutes to sit and notate it Keep my fake shades on like the artificial front that they are to shield "me" from a reality check black chic loner with cold tired feet flick some ash onto the curb you feel good when you get it on the first try isn't that everything in your life?...you just said this morning you're coming back to life yet I'm still right here and you lay before me struggling to escape my sweet suffocating deprecating embrace. run from the only things that ever made so much sense in your life, keep inviting fallacies and waiting for him to finally lose his love for you, how when you've found two of the biggest answers you've ever been searching for can you be manipulated into honoring an evil side? you can't possibly still be 80% water at least 30% smoke 20% weakness 10% greed 9% rules 6% haste 4% waste 3.1% not giving yourself credit and just a little bit left over for all the big dreams that wilt in the darkness of your head guess they don't care to know too badly how the sunshine feels