How do I find the words
For feelings I cannot explain
My mind cannot seem to reason with its own battles created
The mixed discomforts in my chest,
its different colours, tones and shades.
I want to pull away,
Escape
I want to be free,
But freedom sometimes scares me,
What does it mean to be free?
Many times I long to explore the sky,
Fill its every space
Open my eyes to the view below
Breathe in the knowledge of the world
Observe it from every angle, gain every perspective.
And just when I have taken the first step forward into my dreams,
I encounter storms and rage.
This isn't how I pictured freedom.
I quickly reverse to the beginning, behind a wall that is familiar
A place I have found immediate comfort
Because of our history and its refuge,
And I stay put in a small space
Until I feel I need another escape.